January 30, 2010

cuisines of the world

Translated from a Russian friend's e-mail.

Ukrainian: to make the filling for your cake combine two fried pork chops and bacon.
Russian: cook something, as long as there's enough vodka. Cover with mayo.
Georgian: cook something, garnish with cilantro, add Kinzmarauli (Georgian wine) and suluguni (Georgian cheese).
French: fry a piece of meat (doesn't matter how) and serve with a sauce you struggled to make for at least 3.5 hours.
Italian: gather all the leftovers from your fridge, warm them up and garnish with mozzarella. Serve on a pie or with pasta.
Chinese: gather some weeds in your back yard, then cook on high with a pile of spices and a quart of soy sauce.
Japanese: catch something live in the sea, immediately cut it into pieces and serve while it is still moving with wasabi.
Mexican: add chile. You don't have to add anything else.
Lebanese: Cover it with sesame oil and soak in lemon juice. Serve in about 20 minutes so that nobody really knows where the meat came from.
Indian: Mix curry with pepper, pepper and more pepper. Add to curry. Garnish with peas.
Greek: serve cheap foods simply cut into chunks, not even mixed together. Proudly repeat: "organic"
Romanian: steal a chicken and a cooking pot
Jewish: don't cook anything. Go to a dinner at a friend's house, eat like there's no tomorrow, and don't forget to take away any leftovers.

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